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Emotional Intelligence | Main page on Customer Service
* under construction needs to be spell checked, proof read, finished
Thoughtfulness
The Istanbul Hostel Breakfast/Bar Room
I wasn't sure quite what to name this article. It is a short story of me sitting at a table working on my laptop. An employee comes over and raises the curtain. I had lowered it a few minutes before he arrived because it was shining in my eyes. Now it is making it difficult to see the screen of my laptop. When he came in, I was the only one in the room. It would have been "nice" of him, or "thoughtful" to ask me if I would mind if he raised it before he did so. But he didn't.
I wonder now, "Why didn't he?" But first, let me say that I have been in this hostel for a couple of weeks now. For the most part, everything is okay. But one day while sitting here alone working, one of the employees came in and turned on the music, quite loud. Another day one came in and turned on the big screen TV. Now it is workably quiet here, even though there are about 7 of us in the room. A few people are sitting alone and a few are quietly talking.
So why would an employee come in and change the environment without asking?
I suspect that what we might call thoughtfulness is probably hard to train in someone, or to teach. I am guessing that it is more a combination of a few things than it is a lack of training. But maybe something like a management instruction to "Ask the customer before you turn on the music, the TV or open a door or a window or a curtain" would help. Or a more general "before you chane the environment." If there are too many customers to ask, then change it gradually, not abruptly.
The big screen TV.
As mentioned, one morning at breakfast, when it was peacefully quiet, an employee came in and turned on the TV. He was watching the weather forecast., in Turkish. Most of the mornings no one turns on the TV, so I am guessing it is not a hostel custom or policy to turn it on while we are eating breakfast. I am guessing he just wanted to see the weather forecast that morning. This is fair enough but he could have turned the volume down.
See more below.
Smoking
A few days ago an Australian mother and daughter were here. They and I were the only three in the room. They started smoking. I then noticed that there are ashtrays on the tables. At night this same room is the bar, so obviously there is smoking and drinking. And noise. I don't come here much at night for just those reasons. Even without the smoke, when I want to talk to someone, I want to talk, not shout.
See more below.
Now the same employee who opened the curtain just came and told me to take my plate to the kitchen. Other employees would ask if they could take my plate. Others would just take it. In fact, one did take my plate the other day, and tried to take my teacup, but I explained to him that I would like to keep it because I might refill it. He then left it. These little things don't seem to be that difficult. I suspect a lot of all of this has to do with the employees' own emotional need satisfaction level. If they have an unmet need to feel in control, powerful, important etc. they are more likely to come order a customer around. If they are in the mid range, they might take your plate without asking you, but then leave something behind if you stop them.
I remember once a flight attendant whisked away my meal before I had finished it. I had been sleeping when the meals were served and I had just woken up and started to eat. She took it so quickly I could not stop her. I remember that I got up to protest but I don't remember what happened as a result. Often, when I protest I get treated worse for the rest of the flight. the Corendon Airlines case is a good example of this.
Now I feel pressured to get up and take my plate to the kitchen. He has asked me once, but I am in the middle of writing. I resent him asking me or basically ordering me to take it. And I don't understand what the big rush is. It is now just before ten and the breakfast room will be open at least for another hour. He doesn't need the plate because there almost no guests eating now. So what would motivate him to come over to me and tell me I need to take my plate to the kitchen? Could it be he is a little tired of me? I have been here a while. I don't fit in with the rest of the crowd who stays up smoking and drinking at night. I also have asked twice if I can have a second plate of breakfast. The first time I felt basically approved of, but the second time I had this feeling of disapproval, as in "once was okay but now you are going too far." This was just by their non verbal communication. Being hypersensitive such things affect me, almost to the point that I would leave the hostel today, even though I have no where else to go, and have already tried several other hostels in the district. (See the Orient Hostel page for example.)
So now I will, reluctantly, and under duress, take my plate up. What I had actually wanted to do was sit here and have some more bread. So now what do I do? Ask for another plate to put the bread on? Try to explain it to the authority in charge?
I decided to just get some more bread. Then if he came to tell me again to take my plate up, I could show that I am not finished eating. I wonder if the manager realizes his employees are doing this -- quietly driving customers like me away? When I went up to get some more bread there was someone else there, a different employee. He saw me take the bread and I smiled at him but he did not smile back, instead he quickly glanced down to see me taking the bread. This was not just my imagination. It happened in a split second, but it did happen. If he were a friend of mine and he saw me he would probably keep his eyes on mine and say ·Good morning" and probably would not pay any attention to how many pieces of bread I was taking.
And now if I go ask someone "Is it okay if I take some more bread?" they are likely to say "of course, take as much as you like", but the truth is they feel annoyed and would like to see me leave the hostel. I suspect that they have talked about me, how I am so odd. That I am here early in the morning, how I eat a lot and stay a long time in my room and down here typing. They have never asked what I am writing or really anything about me. They don't know me at all. I am nothing to them except an inconvenience. Just like I was at the airport in Brussels at the Corendon gate.
If I did speak to the manager he might want to keep me a satisfied customer, or he might defend his employees. He might justify what they do. He might say something like "If everyone had two breakfasts... " or "If everyone sat at the breakfast table for three hours....". This is what the guy did in the London hostel. He literally said "Everyone will....."
Or the manager might realize that even if I had three breakfasts, he is still making more money than if I left his hostel and went somewhere else. If he got to know me he would know that I will stay here as long as I am happy or till I want to leave Istanbul. One might think if you knew someone had stayed in your hostel for a week or two, they might like it and they might keep staying as long as you keep them happy or minimally satisfied.
The Ashtrays
After the Australians were smoking I talked to one of the employees and asked him if there was any policy about smoking at breakfast. I told him my problem and told him I had seen at least one hostel that asked the guests not to smoke at breakfast. I suggested he
While we were on the street talking, someone from across the street shouted to him. We kept talking and a few minutes later he came out and shouted again. This time the employee interrupted our conversation and went to put a sign in the street. I asked him if this was his boss and he said no, just another employee. I said something about how I felt about being interrupted just so that person could feel powerful. There was no other reason the guy shouting could not have waited until we were finished talking. First, it was pretty disrespectful to me as a customer, and second it was disrespectful to the employee I was talking to. And in fact we might say a little emasculating or humiliating. And as he was moving the sign the other guy kept shouting to him telling him exactly where to put it ("No, not there" Over there")
In any case, we continuted talking once he came back after moving the sign.
Here is my plate he wanted me to take to the kitchen. And a shot of the table and window after the sun had moved a bit.
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Here is the sign which it was so important to move while I was talking to the employee about the ashtrays.
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Now one of the employees puts the TV on again. A Turksih woman is singing some sad song in, for me, a very irratatiing voice. So I put on my headphones. Still the images from the big screen are distracting out of the corner of my eye. (This kind of music reminds me of Peru. All the heartbreak songs, sung by women with way too much make up and jewelry on. )
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One general complaint with a few Turkish hostels. The staff is only Turkish natives. They often don't speak a lot of English and have not done any backpacking of their own. Thus they don't really empathize with the backpacker. I would like to see more international volunteers who are traverllers themselves working in the hostels.
I would also suggest they watch less Turkish television. First, this turns the customer off, and second they won't get any practice with English if they only watch Turkish channels. This is another area where Turkey falls somewhere between Europe and Peru, with Peru having some of the worst customer service I have ever experienced anywhere in the world. Now the employee is watching some soap opera in Turkish. It really hurts me to see it. Especially when I think of all the young people who would love to work in a hostel like this and who would love to practice not just English but many languages with all the traverlers.
Later I will tell the story of the eggs at this hostel.