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she‘s understandably put off by Celia‘s out-of-control behavior,  
In first 110 pages...

he never suggest parents apologize.

10 times in first 110 pages he talks about the parents' good intentions. He never says the teens have good intentions in anything they do.

0 - emotional support

0 - listening skils

0 - listener, listeners

4. Think about your typical
responses to your teen’s emotional distress. Do you tend to
unwittingly make things worse?
He does seem to understand that teens self-harm when they are in intense emotional pain.

He doesn't suggest their environments might be more painful.


He could

- Explain judging, punishing, threatening, rejecting, distrusting

He could have a list of expressions and words not to use. And explain why.

- Explain that their homes are more emotionally painful. Less emotionally supportive.


In my experience, invalidation generally stems from parents’
reasonable and good intentions for their children. The terms
validation and invalidation might sound condemning or critical, but
please understand that I am in no way blaming you or saying that
you’re responsible for your children’s troubles. After 30-plus years
of working with children and parents, I have seen that the
overwhelming majority of parents only want to be helpful to their

only goal is to help you understand what might account for your best
parenting efforts falling short. There are different degrees of
validation and invalidation. Kids who are emotionally reactive are
probably more sensitive to even the mildest incidents of
invalidation. So what may be no big deal for one child may be
experienced as a very big deal for another. Hold on—it gets even more
complicated: what may be experienced as mildly invalidating on one
occasion could be felt as really invalidating on another if the child
is emotionally charged up. Short of being candidates for sainthood,
how can you validate in the midst of your own worry and your kids’
emotional storms?