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I have mail from readers in various places. Today I decided to collect some of it here.

Jan-Mar 2015

April-June 2015

Mail from Liz about importance of validation

A very interesting mail from a very smart person. It was the only mail I got from him or her. http://eqi.org/msytmail1.htm

Thank you letters from teens

Thank you letters from adults

Mail from April 2014 - includes some other stuff

Mail May 2014

July 2014

Mail about feeling words list

Mail about emotionally abusive mother in Romania

Mail from Kel

Mail Jan 2015

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Other EQI.org Topics:

Emotional Literacy
Invalidation | Hugs
Emotional Abuse |
Feeling Words
Depression | Education
Emotional Intelligence
Parenting | Personal Growth

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I'm a high schooler, young girl, 15 years old, 10th grader. I used to be understanding and kind to adults, but now, I am being cruel and defiant.
I enjoy "annoying" people. My mother called that demented, and now I believe her...please don't make a big fuss out of this email, I'm only saying I need someone to talk to.
I have anger in me that's building up, and am taking it out on my favorite teacher. I feel there is a "mean person" in me whom is jealous of my friendship with this teacher.
That "mean person" already ruined a great friendship with a girl I had, in 5th grade, whom saved me from my sorrows of being alone. It was ruined because of me, all of my fault, and I thought I could depend on her to understand my weirdness. Guess not.

Now I hate her, she's such a jerk.

Help please, yet, if you're busy, I can wait

hi viktor

> I've seen my translation in international section, that's good. I felt nice seing it) It gives me some good feelings

ok - i feel relieved u weren't bothered by it and instead felt good.

> It's difficult to find good material on emotional intelligence in russian..There's also this problem that russians use completly different words and sentence structures for expressing feelings..or maybe it's just everywhere and nobody knows how to express in right way..
> Some popular books I've tried to read are not deep...it's like intellectualizing about feelings but not actually feeling
> I get so deep understanding from nowhere but your site

thanks for letting me know. :)

> I am going to translate EQ For Everybody..I think next week I will send you translated file...

ok thanks :)

> Translating you material is like inventing new language..it's difficult

ha ha - interesting way of looking at it. i guess even in english my way of talking is a bit unique. sometimes i think i will call it "paulish" paul is my middle name

> But there's nothing better for exploring and understanding emotions.

nice to hear that. -- how ok is it if i quote u on some of these things? i want to do some more marketing and self promotion cuz i dont feel valued enough, recognized enough etc.

> And translating it helps me to learn communicating emotions to others - I can understand it and describe to myself in english but for expressing it to others I need to know how to do it in russian..

> I also tried to get in contact with Darina Sosnovskaya who is mentioned in the same section with my translation, I thought that it would be helpful to do that..but yet didn't get answer from her

yeah i also wrote to her and didnt get a reply. i think she was just a student then. so im guessing her life has changed and maybe she wasnt really interested - maybe it was just for a class.

> As I started to pay attention to my feelings, a lot of my relationships becomes worse..Particulary with parents..

yeah i know what u mean....

I don't live with them but getting in touch becomes more and more difficult emotionally. It actually started from when I've read one book of Nathaniel Branden, but it's becoming even more difficult as I learn about emotional intelligence.

yeah i can believe that. im surprised u knew about branden. curious how u heard about him

> I've never really taken emotions seriously but now I do and I see when I should not relate to some people.

yeah i have stopped talking to a lot of pple i would have kept talking to otherwise.

>That's good. It means that I will be able to find much better relationships.

let's hope it works out that way!

> I also try to write my own small articles concerning EQ.. I am libertarian in political views and believe that emotional intelligence in people will if not diminish the size of the government but certainly not allow it to grow into totalitarian dictatorship..

again let's hope. and do more than hope. work towards that.

> So I am using EQ more and more in my personal life and trying to educate people about that and I try to connect libertarianism and EQ in ideas such as that you can not respect people's feelings and control, regulate their life and enforce your rules on them at the same time...

agree 100 percent

> Recently I've wrote an article and in it I exposed one flaw in emotional literacy using example from my life..I didn't mention the name of the person involved but I know that he will recognize himself..I feel a little guilty about that...And as I understand there's no other way to write about this..you need to use personal stories with real people mentioning or not their real names..How do you do that? I've seen that sometimes you mention even real names...Do you feel guilty if you know that the person will likely read it?

yeah this is a very tricky and delicate subject. i face it often.... it is hard to explain how i make the decisions. i guess i consider how much risk there is to me. i like to give real examples, obviously. but sometimes i write something in a secret place which i can pull out later or just show to some trusted pple.
it helps that i have been traveling a lot. it is easier to write about people in a country u dont plan to go back to!

i have a problem here in uruguay because i have been here 3 years and see no where else to go. maybe one day i will come to russia. it is one place i havent been. closest i got was estonia and the baltics.

anyhow i was thinking about my gf or ex gf priscilla. she really wanted to have a community based on my ideas. now she is entangled in a very unhealthy relationship with a girl. not sure if u read much about that. but maybe one day she will want to try the community idea again. and i thought maybe u would be interested since u seem to like and understand my ideas and seem to see the problems with traditional governments.

im wondering also how you would feel about talking to a 15 year old girl who is in an abusive relationship with her parents. she is a possible candidate for a community based on my ideas too.

i am going to send her a copy of this and also send a copy to a guy named cricket or "grillo" in spanish who might be a candidate also. he seems to understand my ideas pretty well.

i feel encouraged to know u and get ur letter.


hi kathy

im feeling some pain emotionally right now from a couple of things.

i dont usually start out lettters that way but i kind of believe in the concept of doing that. ie being emotionally honest.

about me - i feel pain from all the times pple questioned my knowledge, my experience etc. i usually just tell them my work speaks for itself and i figure if they cant see the value in it then me promoting myself won't matter much or at least isnt worth my time when i could be using it doing something else.

that is more for your info than it is a response to what u asked me. and to explain some of my painful feeling right now

also, dan siegel - im not too impressed with him. he is so much into self promotion for example, and he came up with some new term or terms that i didnt think were really necessary, again as a way of "branding" in my opinion.

i have become very skeptical about nearly everything coming out of the usa these days.

but back to dan

he says, i guess, that we can be more happy and joyful if we connect with others. so i think, what about connecting with the people our bombs have killed in iraq for example, or the drones have killed?

no one seems to want to talk about these kinds of things. they are considered too "negative."

i believe americans are much too "postive." - that was part of my message in the piece i wrote.

but back to ur reeasonable interest in knowing more about me.. today i updated the about section of my site and put the index of main topics back together. on there u will find a wealth of information about me, my writing etc. well mostly u learn about me thru my writing. but i did update the about section.

the home page is www.eqi.org and on there is a link to the list of topics, which has a brief about section

it pains me that literally no one from aces has spent much time on my site. i see the american culture itself as a cause of trauma, depression and suicide.

but i dont just blame the americans. i wrote an article once, called let's blame the british since we got so much of our culture from them - who of course got it from those before them.

not sure how religious u are but im an atheist and to me religion is a basic cause of dysfunction. it seems atheists are not very welcome on aces, from subtle clues that i get.

so anyhow,...it hurts me to see americans trying to be so happy and joyful when they have caused so much pain to so many others. and when their own teenagers and soldiers are literally killing themselves.