EQI.org Home Thank
You's From Teens Below are some of the many thank you letters and notes we have received from teens around the world since we started helping them online in 1998. They have found us from the work of the EQI founder, Steve Hein, who in around 1995 began documenting the storries of teens who self-harmed, felt depressed and suicidal. Some had already attempted suicide or had been in mental hospitals. Some of the work he has done in these areas can be found on the teen suicide and cutting pages. Steve feels indebted to the teens who have trusted him with the most secret and guarded parts of their lives. His work has been profoundly impacted by their pain, kindness, caring, sensitivity, insight, awareness and intelligence - both intellectual and emotional. Some of their letters describing their lives and the emotional abuse they have suffered in their homes can be read in this book, Letters from the Unloved, co-edited by EQI.org and WhatDepresses.me |
Respect | Empathy Other EQI.org Topics: Emotional
Literacy |
A list of all files on EQI.org | |
This site is the best
one I've seen. It shows how much you care instead of just reeling off a list of info like all the other sites do. I wrote this letter to my parents a few days ago but I got too scared to show them. I'm not exactly sure why I'm emailing you. I just liked your site and it would be nice for someone to see how I feel I guess: It's just nice to think someone out there
has read it and Thank |
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This site is the best
one I've seen. It shows how much you care instead of just reeling off a list of info like all the other sites do. I wrote this letter to my parents a few days ago but I got too scared to show them. I'm not exactly sure why I'm emailing you. I just liked your site and it would be nice for someone to see how I feel I guess: It's just nice to think someone out there
has read it and Thanks |
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Thanks so so much for pointing me to the fourm. :-) | |
Hello I was looking at your site and I really
REALLY like it. my name is _____, I am fourteen years
old. I figured out that this is what I want to do when I graduate. I want to be a counselor, but I have your theory. I think the only way adults can help is if they know what happens themselves. not diseases and whatever other stupid excuses they come up with. Thank you for starting a realistic
website. Thank you for understanding! It's kind of nice
to find an adult who actually GETS IT:) |
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To be honest, without reading the things on ur site I wasnt gonna e-mail u to start with, but cuz the stories & ur info was in there, I felt, you know, maybe, just maybe there might be someone out there who I can talk to & trust....and I was suprised there was someone out there as awesome as you & then when u introduced me to P_____ who is just as awesome, it was almost like a dream.... | |
I know that at least 3 people are still alive b/c of your chatroom (I'd say that's pretty amazing). | |
Hi, First of all don't worry about getting back
to me, To find competent information is
rare. So from the bottom of my heart
thank you for Keep it up. You are a light. Deep thanks, |
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Thank you just for being who you are and being willing to help people in trouble | |
I'm really glad you listened. I don't
think I've ever really communicated with anybody like
this before. It really makes me happy to speak to someone
else who's aware of thoughts and feelings to such a great
extent, an actual human being. It makes me tear tears of
joy, actually, even as I type this sentence. It makes me
feel more hopeful for our existence and that I myself am
capable of being. I feel like a person rather than just
some empty vessel sitting about with no thoughts to think
and no tears to cry. I can feel it, I can actually feel
right now. I feel happy. This discovery of empathy and my
own feelings has brought me farther than I have ever been
before. Thank you, Steve. You have really helped me, even
if we've only had a few posts. Thank you very much. I hope to speak with you again. |
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I started talking to Brooke and somebody
else on MSN last night and they were lovely. Thank you so much for everything, |
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As I write this I
am sitting, as I do everyday, in a crowded computer room,
wasting my lunchtime away without food or friends. But today... something was different. Today I decided to risk being seen to google up a term which I hate seeing, using, or hearing, because it always seems so accusatory or surreal. http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=self-harm%2C+cutting&meta= And what did I come across? A page that made all the sense in the world. I have no time today to say more, but tomorrow I want to type something out that I want you above anyone else to read. But before I get chased out into the hell hole they call school, let me just say one thing... Thank you. |
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Hi, I'm not sure quite why I'm writing this to you, I'm probably going to embarrass myself if you ever do read this, which I somewhat doubt you will. I just wanted to express to you my, truly -- shock -- and appreciation. I don't think gratitude quite covers it this early morning. It just amazes me that an intelligent adult realizes what hell teenagers go through and empathizes. It amazes me that an extremely intelligent adult doesn't cover up and dismiss how messed up their own childhoods were while torturing, I guess, a way to put it is, the next generation hypocritically and without hesitation. That an intelligent adult isn't a hypocrite that looks down on teenagers constantly and makes us feel like the "disease of the nation" when all we're doing is trying to mature and become decent members of society while living our own fulfilling lives. But how can we become decent people when we have a horrible example set before us? Wow, I kind of blurted that out, but every word was true. I really hope you read this, as stupid as that sounds, just to know that you kept one more frustrated kid from killing themselves. You really are a Godsend, as somewhat ironic as that term is. Though you might not care much and I've already said too much, (oi) I am, of course a teenager, that has been depressed since as long as I can remember, quite literally. I found your site while searching for the term "emotional blackmail", guess why. I've grown to despise my parents, because sadly, I'm one of those few that think of the world around me. I just can't take anything without examining, or questioning, it. I always have a hard time swallowing things quickly as they are handed to me because it's expected of me and that's what a good person would do. (e.g. religion I've been brainwashed into following since toddlerhood whilst watching adults not practice what they preach; my mother's absolute insistence on unconditional respect and love when she goes into a screaming fit of guilt, tears and cursing; among others.) Thinking is sort of
my worst flaw, in a way. I feel no one else understands
me and I'm destined to stay frustrated and feel wronged
for the rest of my life. What did I do to deserve this, I
wonder? I'm still many years from from the legal age to
move out of my parent's house, (18 here in the US) and
I've more than once found myself literally counting down
the days until I'm "free". Your term, "teenage
prison," just made me burst into sobs -- oh
my God, someone is reading my mind word for word. That's
exactly how I feel and I hate that feeling beyond words.
I feel so trapped. I feel like this is literally a prison
sentence I'm serving for something I may have done wrong
in a past life. I can't run away from home to be free to
take a deep breath and be me, because then it will just
aggravate the problem with my parents once they hire the
FBI to haul me back. So for the first time a little while
ago I realized suicide is pretty much the only way out.
But I hesitate to kill myself, because then I fear the
guilt my parents will put on me again even when I'm dead.
(They've told me before that they'd "just die if
something happened to you [me].") I can't believe
that not that long ago have I just realized how messed up
a way of thinking that is. |
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Hi! I wanted to let you know your site is amazing! I haven't even gone through and read all of it. But thanks for putting it out there. I've looked and found many sites but none like yours, none so descriptive. I've had my times where I wanted to die. Iwanted to end it all so I've have to fight and do the best I can. Soon enough I will have my own life and I can control it and not have to deal with my mom and brothers and dad and family. The whole point is to say thanks. |
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i just wanted to say that your website is
amazing. i seem to have needed pretty much every web page
on there. it doesn't contain all the generic impersonal
information that is on the rest of the internet
on similar issues, it really feels you are
speaking directly to me. i would be happy to volunteer if you ever need help, although there's still things 'wrong' with me, as said by my mom and stepdad. thank you for the website, if i ever need to feel that i'm not so alone and people can understand, and that i'm not such a freak, your website is my first stop. thanks again, |
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I'm
14 years old..and I came across ur work and ideas about
things..and I just really admire you and am grateful that
there are people like you...I've come across most if not
all of what you've written in my own life...and I'm glad
you work to help people who encounter these things.. I'll try to get a way to get my "parents" to read ur work..somehow lol so they can gain a bit of intelligence from you..Thanks |
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A comment about the EQI teen chat: If i ddnt have you guys and a reason to laugh and lots of hugs and people who get it, i'd be dead in days. |
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Your site, it made me feel better. Gave me a hope in the world. | |
Letter to from one teen to another Well, when I first started reading EQI.org, it
was some of the best stuff I've ever read. It really
opened my eyes, and taught me a lot about how much
emotions matter and made me realise how many people are
so out of touch with their emotions and how many people
have unmet emotional needs. I also read stuff on the site
like 'feelings aren't debatable' and invalidation, and
things like labelling people only makes them feel less
understood.
And personally what I hate most is when psychologists analyse and dehumanise everything teenagers do as they express their emotions. The main problem is many adults dont understand teenagers, what they do and the way they dress, so when a psychologist tries to help it only makes things worse most of the time. Some adults do understand, like Steve from the site, and Ive read his site for a year now and it keeps getting better. |
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thanks a ton, for your site and everything..it helps me a lot |
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let me say firstly,, i found your website
by going onto wikipedia, then depression, which led to me
to emotional abuse, then i found a link to your website
because i was so depressed and i wanted to be cured
really badly or i was going to try and kill myself by
smoking and eating unhealthy foods, i have been very
depressed, and i think your website is amazing, it deals
with so many of the world's problems, it really is
fantastic, i could have taken drugs to solve my problems,
but instead i read your website. im not trying to boast because i did the right thing, i just wanted to let you know that your website is so true in what it says when i was depressed and suicidal i would try and eat lots of food, but i know that a hug and to be understood is the most important thing, i am going to email my local youth centre that deals with troubled teenagers and ask them to read your website so that they can use some of the techniques and hopefully they will learn a thing or two on how to help teenagers if they dont already use the information on your website the main reason for me emailing you is because i learnt that the best way to deal with my problems is to get to the root cause of them, and i can do this by reading your website, there were times when i would just smoke and think of suicide, now the only thing that keeps me going is that if i died then i wouldnt have the chance to tell anyone about your website, so i dont want to kill myself anymore. i used to read a lot about Freud and self help books to find out why i was depressed and to overcome it, but your website has helped me a lot and the most. you make me want to help other people because i know what it feels like to be depressed and i dont want others to feel like i did. i want you to know that your articles are extremely well written and i just wish people, especailly parents and some psychologists would use the advice on them, and epsecially teachers that shout at people, i just wish they realised they would be happier and the students would be happier if they understood people instead of just shouting at them because they want to control people this emal may come acorss that im arrogant and selfish, however i cant convey in words what i feel about the information on it, its just so true, i try and be as nice as possible and i try so hard to never complain or be miserable about anything, i try and always see people as human beings and not as a religion, i try and realise that we are only human beings and that we all make mistakes, and i try to realise that we are all looking to be understood - epsecially younger people who need it more than other people might - and i try and help others as much as possible and try and smile whenever i can because in the UK we are so lucky compared to people who are a lot poorer than us all i know is i want to help others be understood and supported and validated because i know this is the most important thing, i am currently living in an emotionally abusive household and your website has really helped a lot, you have made me realise what i need to do so i dont become depressed, i have set it as my goal to make some and friends and have a relationship because i have been so lonely in my teenage years and although im still 17 i know that if i dont make the most of my teenage years i will end up very messed up when im older, i want to be cured of my loneliness and depression now while im 17 before i turn into a serial killer or something when im older because i dont want to develop serious mental health problems later on in my life like i know i will |
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Note from EQI The teens who write to us are typically exceptionally kind people. They don't want to be a burden to anyone else. They don't want to hurt anyone else. They are quick to apologize, quick to forgive. They are the kind of people the world needs more of. It pains us greatly to know they are being severely damaged, and the world could easily lose their gifts to suicide one day if they don't get emotional support. Here is just one example of the kinds of things they often say when they write to us:
Again, these are intelligent, sensitive, compassionate people. Thank you for reading our site and supporting our work. Steve Hein By the way, if you feel moved by these letters would like to support our work, please visit our support page. (We have had to close our teen chat due to lack of resources. With your help, maybe we can get it started again.) |