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Home | Parents Who Kill Their Children
'My
daughter deserved to die for falling in love'
Two weeks
ago, The Observer revealed how 17-year-old student Rand
Abdel-Qader was beaten to death by her father after
becoming infatuated with a British soldier in Basra. In
this remarkable interview, Abdel-Qader Ali explains why
he is unrepentant - and how police backed his actions.
Afif Sarhan in Basra and Caroline Davies report
For Abdel-Qader Ali there is only one regret: that he did
not kill his daughter at birth. 'If I had realised then
what she would become, I would have killed her the
instant her mother delivered her,' he said with no trace
of remorse.
Two weeks after The Observer revealed the shocking story
of Rand Abdel-Qader, 17, murdered because of her
infatuation with a British soldier in Basra, southern
Iraq, her father is defiant. Sitting in the front garden
of his well-kept home in the city's Al-Fursi district, he
remains a free man, despite having stamped on, suffocated
and then stabbed his student daughter to death.
Abdel-Qader, 46, a government employee, was initially
arrested but released after two hours. Astonishingly, he
said, police congratulated him on what he had done. 'They
are men and know what honour is,' he said.
Rand, who was studying English at Basra University, was
deemed to have brought shame on her family after becoming
infatuated with a British soldier, 22, known only as
Paul.
She died a virgin, according to her closest friend
Zeinab. Indeed, her 'relationship' with Paul, which began
when she worked as a volunteer helping displaced families
and he was distributing water, appears to have consisted
of snatched conversations over less than four months. But
the young, impressionable Rand fell in love with him,
confiding her feelings and daydreams to Zeinab, 19.
It was her first youthful infatuation and it would be her
last. She died on 16 March after her father discovered
she had been seen in public talking to Paul, considered
to be the enemy, the invader and a Christian. Though her
horrified mother, Leila Hussein, called Rand's two
brothers, Hassan, 23, and Haydar, 21, to restrain
Abdel-Qader as he choked her with his foot on her throat,
they joined in. Her shrouded corpse was then tossed into
a makeshift grave without ceremony as her uncles spat on
it in disgust.
'Death was the least she deserved,' said Abdel-Qader. 'I
don't regret it. I had the support of all my friends who
are fathers, like me, and know what she did was
unacceptable to any Muslim that honours his religion,' he
said.
Sitting on a chair by his front door and surrounded by
the gerberas and white daisies he had planted in the
family garden, Abel-Qader attempted to justify his
actions.
'I don't have a daughter now, and I prefer to say that I
never had one. That girl humiliated me in front of my
family and friends. Speaking with a foreign solider, she
lost what is the most precious thing for any woman.
'People from western countries might be shocked, but our
girls are not like their daughters that can sleep with
any man they want and sometimes even get pregnant without
marrying. Our girls should respect their religion, their
family and their bodies.
'I have only two boys from now on. That girl was a
mistake in my life. I know God is blessing me for what I
did,' he said, his voice swelling with pride. 'My sons
are by my side, and they were men enough to help me
finish the life of someone who just brought shame to
ours.'
Abdel-Qader, a Shia, says he was released from the police
station 'because everyone knows that honour killings
sometimes are impossible not to commit'. Chillingly, he
said: 'The officers were by my side during all the time I
was there, congratulating me on what I had done.' It's a
statement that, if true, provides an insight into how
vast the gulf remains between cultures in Iraq and
between the Basra police the British army that trains
them.
Sources have indicated that Abdel-Qader, who works in the
health department, has been asked to leave because of the
bad publicity, yet he will continue to draw a salary.
And it has been alleged by one senior unnamed official in
the Basra governorate that he has received financial
support by a local politician to enable him to
'disappear' to Jordan for a few weeks, 'until the story
has been forgotten' - the usual practice in the 30-plus
cases of 'honour' killings that have been registered
since January alone.
Such treatment seems common in Basra, where militias have
partial control, especially in the districts on the
outskirts where Abdel-Qader lives.
While government security forces and British troops have
control over the centre, around the fringes militants can
still be seen everywhere on the streets or at the
checkpoints they have erected. And they have imposed
strict laws of behaviour for all the local people,
including what clothing should be worn and what religious
practices should be observed. There are reports of men
having their hands cut off for looting and women being
killed for prostitution.
Homosexuality is punishable by death, a sentence
Abdel-Qader approves of with a passion. 'I have alerted
my two sons. They will have the same end [as Rand] if
they become contaminated with any gay relationship. These
crimes deserve death - death in the name of God,' he
said.
He said his daughter's 'bad genes were passed on from her
mother'. Rand's mother, 41, remains in hiding after
divorcing her husband in the immediate aftermath of the
killing, living in fear of retribution from his family.
She also still bears the scars of the severe beating he
inflicted on her, breaking her arm in the process, when
she told him she was going. 'They cannot accept me
leaving him. When I first left I went to a cousin's home,
but every day they were delivering notes to my door
saying I was a prostitute and deserved the same death as
Rand,' she said.
'She was killed by animals. Every night when go to bed I
remember the face of Rand calling for help while her
father and brothers ended her life,' she said, tears
streaming down her face.
She was nervous, clearly terrified of being found, and
her eyes constantly turned towards the window as she
spoke. 'Rand told me about the soldier, but she swore it
was just a friendship.
'She said she spoke with him because she was the only
English speaker. I raised her in a religious manner and
she never went out alone until she joined the university
and then later when she was doing aid work.
'Even now, I cannot believe my ex-husband was able to
kill our daughter. He wasn't a bad person. During our 24
years of marriage, he was never aggressive. But on that
day, he was a different person.'
The mother is now trying to raise enough money to escape
abroad. 'I miss my two boys,' she said. 'But they have
sent a message saying that I am wrong for defending Rand
and that I should go back home and live like a blessed
Muslim woman,' said Leila, who is now volunteering with a
local organisation campaigning for better protection for
women in Basra.
One of those running the organisation, who did not want
to be identified, said that Rand's case was similar to so
many reported in Basra, with the only difference being
she was in love with a foreigner, rather than an Iraqi.
'There isn't too much to say. Rand is dead. It is a
tragedy and will be a tragedy for many other families in
Iraq in the days to come.
'According to information we have been given, some from
Rand's colleague, we have doubts that her love was
reciprocated. We have the impression that Rand was in
love, but the English soldier wasn't. But, for a girl to
be paid nice compliments about her beauty and her
intelligence, it was enough for her to think she was in
love.
'She isn't here any more for her mother to ask any of the
questions she would like to. Rand's case had
repercussions because she fell in love with a foreigner.
But what about the other girls murdered through
"honour" killings because they fell in love
with some of a different sect, or lost their virginity,
or were forced to become prostitutes?'
Rand's mother used to call her 'Rose'. 'That was my
nickname for her because when she was born she was so
beautiful,' she said.
'Now, my lovely Rose is in her grave. But, God will make
her father pay, either in this world ... or in the world
after.'
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