What is Emotional Intelligence?

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Last night I made these notes to myself:

What really is emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence and emotional needs.

Is a more emotionally intelligent person more able to identify his or her emotional needs?

Are they more able to fill them?

Then I decided to check the Mayer Salovey Four Branch Model of EI to see if they said anything about needs. I read the entire model again, very carefully. I found they did talk about needs. In the first branch of the model they include the ability to

"express emotions accurately, and to express needs related to those feelings."

I feel a little embarrassed actually to realize that has been in their model all along and I have never noticed it. Or if I did notice it once, I forgot it. I was actually surprised to see it there. I also feel a little guilty because I have been claiming to be writing about emotional intelligence for a long time, and have been supporting the work of Mayer and Salovey ever since I started getting familiar with it, but quite honestly, I haven't done a good job of presenting their concept of EI on my site. About all I can do now is admit that and apologize. And also make an effort to do a better job in the future.

As I kept reading their model, probably for at least the tenth time over the past 9 or so years, I realized that each time I read the model I see something new in it. I also have a deeper respect for the thinking and work they did to create the model. And though I feel guilty for not representing and explaining their model better, I also realize that their model is very complex and I simply wasn't able to grasp it all the first, second, third etc time I read it. The first time I saw it, to be totally honest, I was more concerned with typing it into the little boxes of the table so I could present it on my site. After that I kind of forgot about it and concentrated more on their summary of it. I now believe all of us interested in emotional intelligence could benefit by thoroughly studying the full table and thinking about its vast implications.

I am wondering now, what if more people really understood what Jack and David were talking about in that model, and in their original 1990 paper?

And I wonder what if they understood the implications for the world of their work?

And I also wonder what if David Caruso really understood it?

Again I feel bad for singling out David, but my feelings tell me to keep mentioning him by name. I suppose I have several motives for doing this, but the strongest is probably a desire that David make a major change in how he is presenting, interpreting and "marketing" Jack and Peter's model of EI. I also have a desire that Jack distance himself from David, since I think David has done Jack's model a disservice. David told me he was afraid of this and all I can say is that his gut feeling has turned out to be accurate. Maybe David knew deep down that he wasn't qualified or capable of representing Jack and Peter's model. Maybe now he is too insecure to admit it. Maybe he is afraid of losing Jack's friendship or respect, or losing respect in the businessworld or among his friends. All of those are understandable. Still, I hope if he reads this he will do some serious thinking and feeling.