Goleman, Feelings, Depression

Goleman, Feelings, Depression

At the same time I was writing editorial 54 I was aware that I was feeling depressed. Actually I am still writing the editorial, I am just stopping to write this, which I plan to put in a separate editorial about depression.

I believe there is value in my depression. I don’t like how I feel, but I believe there is value in it. I don’t have much energy right now. It is sunny out and I am in a new town, called Tilcara, Argentina. I have been in a city called Jujuy for the past two weeks or so. Today Laura and I came here to escape the rain, heat and humidity in Jujuy. We are up about a thousand feet higher and it is cooler and drier here. It is a pretty nice day for walking around. Laura is walking around actually. She left when I sank into a depression. She tried talking to me but nothing would come out of my mouth. I wish I could write in Spanish faster, or that there was a good translation program, so I could show my thoughts to her which I am writing now… but no such luck.

So I will try to explain when she comes back. I’m afraid, as I often am, that while she is out she will come to the conclusion it is better if she leaves me and goes back to Peru so I can work and she won’t be an interference.

I’ve been laying in bad for about the past hour and a half. I decided to turn on my laptop and find something I downloaded the other day and read it. I found the review by Kevin Langdon which I wrote about in editorial 54.

In it I read some things that Goleman said about depression. This reminded me that Goleman seems to not like any emotions which interfere with productivity. As I am pretty sure I have said before, Goleman seems to me to be like the horse in Animal Farm who said “We just need to work harder.” In other words, Goleman seems to think we don’t need to change much about society, just do more of the same.

This reminds me that Goleman equates emotional intelligence with “character.” It reminds me he sounds very old fashioned, and reminds me he seems to like to lecture people and talk about morals and virtue. And it reminds me that he doesn’t like to talk about feelings.

I really don’t think Goleman believes our feelings serve much purpose unless they are helping us make money.

I’ve thought that before, but never said it quite like that I don’t think. I suppose this is a bit of an over-generalization. I suppose Goleman has a bit more of a heart than this, but I am only supposing since I haven’t seen much or any evidence of it.

Let’s think again what Goleman has done since he made his million plus dollars in 1995. He co-founded the EI Consortium, which I think even he will admit primarily serves large corporations. He wrote a book for corporate America called “Working with Emotional Intelligence”, and he later co-authored another one for the same market called “Primal Leadership”.

I am tempted to say I feel disappointed, but I remember what I wrote about disappointment- that it comes from our own expectations. I don’t really have expectations for Dan Goleman. And even if I did, what good would it do? I have also written that disappointment can be used as a way of guilt-tripping someone. In that sense, maybe it would be helpful if Dan thought I was disappointed in him and he felt a little guilty. Maybe it would help him change his priorities a little.

I feel frustrated and powerless. I want Goleman to change. I want David Caruso to change. I want a lot of people to change. I’d even like George Bush to change.

What are the chances George Bush will ever read even one page from my website? Probably very, very close to zero.

What are the chances anyone who has any real power will read something from my site? What are the chances anyone else besides Jen and Kel and Darren will even read this editorial? And maybe Jalena. I have a few people who let me know they read my site and check the new items. I feel a little encouraged by that. But I’d like to make more of a difference in the world. So many things about it cause me pain. My pain leads to my depression. And leads to the state I am in now. If I weren’t somewhat depressed I wouldn’t be writing this.

S. Hein
Feb 2006