Killing, Destruction and Chaos

I feel a little obligated to write something more about the killing, destruction and chaos in Lebanon.

I also feel a need to write more about a personal conflict.

So I could try to tie the two together and talk about conflict resolution in general.

I like my model of conflict resolution, but it won’t work with people who just want to kill you. It won’t work with people who can’t talk about their feelings honestly, for whatever reason.

It won’t work with the Israelis or the British or the Americans. When I say that I mean the people in power in those countries.

Power.

That is a problem in itself.

This is either very complicated or very simple.

I will admit that now I am writing without a clear direction. I am writing to maybe figure something out, though I feel pessimistic about that.

I am writing to get some of my own feelings out.

I am writing to give you something to read. Let me explain that one.

During the elections of 2004 in the USA a lot of people were visiting my site. I guess a lot of people were on the Internet in general. Maybe people actually wanted to know how I felt about things or what I thought or both. But I didn’t write much about the elections. I didn’t tell anyone how I felt about either candidate. I just kind of stayed out of it all. Then when the election was over I wrote some very critical things.

This is a little different but I am thinking maybe people do want to know what I have to say about the killing. I don’t want to call it a war. I want to call it killing. I want to call it destruction. I want to call it chaos.

I want people to feel.

If you come to this site regularly you already know a lot about how I feel and how I write. If this is your first time, welcome I suppose, I am sorry I don’t have anything magically powerful to tell you. Or maybe I do and I don’t realize it yet.

I believe in the things I write about.

I believe they could prevent killing such as that taking place now in Lebanon.

Before I forget I want to thank Lea Brovedani again for emailing me yesterday.

I want to challenge Jack Mayer and David Caruso to SAY SOMETHING!

Maybe David has already said something. I will check his site later.

I also want to see something on Josh Freedman’s website soon. I am sorry now if I sound a bit controlling or something. I would like to play god a little, I admit that. I would like more people to do things my way and see the world as I see and see the solutions as I see them.

But I don’t like the say I sound. I sound too much like a parent or an impatient, frustrated boss.

Something like a parent saying “I want your room clean when I get home! Is that clear?!”

In my personal conflict I am feeling afraid. I am actually afraid of being killed. I have been thinking a lot about that. I’ve been thinking of people like Carissa, who is the real person behind the name of Melissa. She told me last night it was okay with her if I use her real name. But still I am a little afraid to because I have seen how parents can react.

I have been thinking about Jen and Brooke and Ocean.

I don’t think they would want to admire me for standing up for something I believe in and getting killed in the process. And I don’t really like the idea of being a martyer. But if I were to get killed by someone I would rather it be by a parent who felt threatened by me than by a common robber who doesn’t even know me. Then I might achieve more cult hero status or something among teens and who knows maybe my writing about parents feeling threatened by my writing would be taken more seriously. But it’s not just my writing they are threatened by. It is anything which threatens the power over “their” children or which threatens their image. So many parents are so terrified of being exposed as bad parents.

I have pretty much decided to take a break from writing much about the person I feel threatened by. I don’t think it is what we could call wise to provoke him anymore. There really isn’t much point to it. I don’t think it is making the world a better place. I don’t think it is helping many teens. I think I can write about the concepts and principle and even the facts in a different, less provoking way.

But back to the killing in Lebanon and killing in general.

I guess I would say I feel encouraged by what most of the world is doing. Most of the world is trying to stop the killing. I really admire the way the Europeans do things. They are not perfect but they are the best model we have in the world. Certainly the Israelis are not a model of how to use power.

I read that they were dropping leaflets into Beirut threatening people with something like a “painful retaliation.”

That is almost surreal to me.

It is hard to believe the world could be so divided into what I will call enlightened and unenlightened people.

I am pretty sure that one day, probably only after much more killing, destruction and chaos, people will come to the common consensus that it is not productive to threaten people.

In my own case the person who would like to see me dead probably feels threatened by what I know and what I have already written. Well, I think it is fair to say he does feel threatened, not just “probably.”

So what if I took the threat away?

I wasn’t really consciously threatening him. But I can see now that I was doing it in more subtle but still provoking ways.

What does he more “enlightened” person do when they are involved in a conflict, especially a life or death conflict?

My decision is becoming clear to me in my personal case. I would like to think of it as more enlightened. I like that word. Emotional enlightenment might be what we need in the world now more than what the consultants are calling emotional intelligence.

I am curious to read what the experts have to say about the killing in Lebanon. I would like to see some kind of a connection between them on this, some kind of unity. I am not very well liked in the “field” of EI because I criticize the “experts” so much, but on this I feel cooperative and would cooperate with others on trying to stop the killing.

I will continue this later today. I want to post this much now. I might do a lot of writing to day actually. Let’s say I will update the site once every hour until I write and say “no more updates are likely today.”

So with that said I will say … to be continued…

It is now about 12:00 noon Argentina, 11AM in Washington DC, 4pm in London,

Steve

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