Signs of Abusive Fathers

This list is an adaptation of a list for teens of Signs of Abusive Boyfriends. Girls who get in relationships with abusive boys were probably first abused by their own fathers, either physical, sexually or emotionally., After years of living with abusive fathers, they have learned to believe that they deserve to be punished and that they don't deserve to be treated with respect. They have become used to being treated badly and they don't know what it is like to be teated well.

Signs of Abusive Fathers

He's trying to control you and make you dependent on him if:

He has to know where you are and who you are with all the time.
He tries to control your contact with your friends.
He puts down what you wear, do and say.
He tries to control you by being very bossy, giving orders, making all the decisions, and does not take your opinion or your feelings seriously.
He is scary. You worry about how they will react to things you say or do.
He abuses drugs or alcohol.
He puts you down so you will lose self-esteem, confidence and control
He tells people things you did or said that embarrass you and make you feel stupid.
He says it's your fault when things go wrong.
He calls you stupid, lazy, fat, selfish, spoiled, ugly or a "slut".
He blames you when he mistreats you. He says you deserved it, or you provoked him, pressed his buttons, made him do it.
He threatens you.
He uses physical violence or he physically controls you, for example, physically stopping you from going out of the house.
He hurts or hits you, or uses his greater physical strength to hold you down so you make you feel helpless, powerless or humiliated.
He threatens to hit you, hurt your friends, pets or family if you do not do what he wants.
He says he will kick you out of the house if you don't obey him.
He threatens to stop giving you money, or to not pay for your education if you don't obey him.
He threatens to kill himself and blames it on you.
He gets very angry about small, unimportant things.
He will not tell you his feelings when you ask and then he blows up.
He pressures you to do things you don't want to do.
He attempts to manipulate or guilt trip you by saying "If you really loved me you would..." or "If you were a good daughter you would...."
He compares you to other people's daughters and says things like "Why can't you be more like...."