Emotional Intelligence | Stevehein.com

 

Bite Me!
Ways of Expressing Resentment

 

Introduction

Commands

Notes on the list of commands

Labeling with "You" statements

Sarcasm

The "Fuck you" song by Eamon

Dedication and Editorial Comments

The main page on resentment

 

Introduction

Back around Feb of 2004 I started this file. I wrote....

I have been helping teach English recently. I have also been feeling resentful about various things. This got me started thinking about all the idiomatic ways of expressing resentment in English. There are many commands, such as "Bite me", and there are many forms of sarcasm, such as "Oh, joy." As the saying goes, "Sarcasm is anger in disguise."

As I think about the countries I have visited I wonder if there is more resentment, more sarcasm in places like the USA and England. This is where I have noticed these kinds of comments the most.

Anyhow, here is the list so far. If you have contributions please write me


Commands

Bite me.

Get a life.

Get fucked.

Get lost.

Go fuck yourself.

Go jump in the lake.

Go to hell.

Fuck off .

Fuck you.

Kiss my ass.

Kiss off.

Leave me alone.

Leave me the fuck alone.

Leave me the hell alone.

Mind your own business.

Mind your own damn business.

Mind your own God damn business.

Mind your own fucking business.

Piss off.

Stick it.

Stick it up your ass.

Stick it where the sun don't shine.

Suck my dick.

Take a hike.

 


Notes on the list of commands

In this list are commands used by those who feel resentful in an attempt to order someone else to do something. This suggests that we feel resentful when others try to control us. We then want to take back control, so we try to control them. This in turn probably creates more resentment in the world.

Something else we typically do is label people, which probably also creates more resentment


Labeling with "You" statements

Here are a few "you" statements to express resentment.

You asshole.

You bastard.

You bitch.

You cocksucker.

You cunt.

You dick.

You dickhead.

You dipshit.

You idiot.

You halfwit.

You twat.

You twerp.

You stupid mother fucker.

You imbecile.

You jerk.

You moron.

You prick.

You pussy.

You wus.

You wussy.

 


Sarcasm

Here are just a very few sarcastic expressions. Often the sarcasm can only be identified by the tone of voice or the context.

Oh great.

Oh joy

Oh wonderful

Oh isn't that just peachy?

Thanks a lot

Thanks a hell of a lot.

How considerate of you

How kind of you

How sweet

How lovely

How thoughtful of you

 


Expressing Resentment and Teenagers

Teenagers often feel a lot of resentment from the way they have been treated for years. Some of their more primary feelings might be feeling underestimated, controlled, stereotyped, judged, misunderstood, threatened, punished, unloved, discriminated against, etc.

The way teenagers express resentment, in the USA and England, for example, often is a combination of sarcasm, "talking back", swearing etc. This feels like disrespect and defiance to the adults who are trying to control them, so they are often punished for the ways they express their resentments. Of course, this only creates more resentment.

To improve society we could:

1) Teach ways of expressing resentment with "I" and "I feel" messages.

2) Listen for the hidden emotions being expressed

 


The "Fuck you" song

EAMON LYRICS
Fuck It (I Don't Want You Back)

Here is an example of a song that is popular now, even in Peru. We could probably say it shows a bit of resentment...Notice he says "I want to let you know how I feel", but there are more "fuck's" than feeling words! He probably could have used a course on emotional literacy when he was younger, but of course they don't teach that in school. Not yet anyhow, or at least not in many schools! (S. Hein, March 2, Lima, Peru)

See, I dont know why I liked you so much
I gave you all, of my trust
I told you, I loved you, now thats all down the drain
Ya put me through pain, I wanna let u know how I feel

Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses, they didn't mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, I dont want you back

Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses they didn't mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, I dont want you back

You thought, you could
Keep this shit from me, yeah
Ya burnt bitch, I heard the story
Ya played me, ya even gave him head
Now ya askin for me back
Ya just another act, look elsewhere
Cuz ya done with me

Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses they didn't mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, I dont want you back

Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses they didn't mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, I dont want you back

Ya questioned, did I care
You could ask anyone, I even said
Ya were my great one
Now its, over, but I do admit I'm sad.
It hurts real bad, I cant sweat that, cuz I loved a hoe

Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses they didn't mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, I dont want you back


Dedication and Editorial Comments

This list is dedicated to Sarah who taught me to say " bite me" and to all my teenage friends around the world who resent the way they are treated by adults, and who often come up with creative ways of expressing this resentment. It is especially for those in non-English speaking countries where they are just beginning to see how they are being treated and how little freedom they actually have. I believe resentment can be a first step to making needed changes if it is channeled constructively.

I have often wondered what would happen if we stopped brainwashing teenagers. What would happen if all the countries in the world would agree to stop imposing their customs, traditions, and religious beliefs on young people. What would happen if all the parents and teachers and school authorities would start to listen to teenagers? What if we took their ideas and feelings into consideration when making decisions?

Then, if the change proved to be positive, what if we started treating pre-teens as if their ideas and feelings mattered? Then what if we started listening to those even younger?

What if we redesigned what we now call "schools" into places where we could learn from teenagers and children instead of trying to "teach" them and train them to fit into the adult world?

How many adults can really look a child or teenager in the eye and say with sincerity:

"I am proud of what we have created. I am proud to bring you into our world. We have created a world where you can feel safe, where you feel valued, where you are treated with respect, where your feelings and needs are taken seriously. Yes, I am really proud of what we have created and are passing along to you."

I suspect not many adults could say this. They know this is a lie. So I suggest we admit that we have failed to create a safe world for our children. I suggest we admit we have failed to bring unity among the humans around the world. I suggest we admit that our religious beliefs have divided us and set us against one another. I suggest we admit that patriotism is nothing to be proud of and that instead it is deadly for our species.

I suggest we turn the educational system upside down and start to learn from children and teenagers. I suggest we spend more time observing them to see how they naturally act and less time trying to control them so they will learn to be obedient and compliant. I suggest we encourage their creativity rather than crush it. I suggest we provide them with freedom instead of deprive them of it. Then they won't have so many reasons to feel resentful.

S. Hein

First draft 2004, updated Feb 2005