Bob's Hostel. Amsterdam

I stayed in Bob's hostel four nights. While I was there I did a lot of writing. Here is one thing which I have already posted. It is about the authoritarian night manager. I have mixed feelings about the hostel, but overall, I would go back there myself again. It took me a while to get a "feel" for the place, to see how things worked, who the different personalities were there etc.

One day I talked to the owner, Bob, who most would call a "successful" businessman from Morocco. I didn't take a picture of him or ask how he would feel if I did or if I wrote an article about him and the hostel. I may write more about it later but for now I don't want them to blacklist me for saying anything negative or writing something which might have been told to me in confidence by any of the hostel staff.

I am still not sure what I am going to do with my writing, thoughts and pictures of the hostel. I really have mixed feelings.

On one hand it was a very relaxed place. On the other there were a few staff members who seemed to fit in more with a Soviet style business. One of the most interesting things for me was to see that the travellers who smoked pot were, in general, some of the quietest roommates I have had in hostels, especially in large hostels in major cities. I was told in fact that Amsterdam has the most hostels in the world, and that would not be hard to believe.

I heard that Bob started the hostel in the 70's and he "got lucky" because he bought the building and started the hostel before hostels became a lucrative business. I was also told he used to work in the hostel himself. Now he just comes in and checks up on the place from day to day. I think he came in just about every morning, but he didn't stay long and didn't talk to the backpackers. He is around 60 years old and has the look of someone who would own a yacht, so it is in ironic contrast to many of the hippyish backpackers.

But I want to say more about the dorm room. At night nearly all the backpackers who came in were very quiet. I can't remember any of them turning on the lights, as some backpackers do, even though others are sleeping. Only once would I say there were two people who were almost completely disrespectful to the others who were sleeping. I believe they were Israelis, but this might be due to my own personal prejudice. In general I have not had many good experiences with Israeli travelers, for reasons I won't get into right here. One of the two, to his credit, did try to get his friend to speak more softly, but this had little affect.

Not all the backpackers were there to smoke pot, by the way. Just like not all the backpackers in the Christian hostel where I stayed the first night in Amsterdam went there to pray. Some of us just ended up in each hostel because there were no others available, or it was the most convienent or whatever.

But in general, I found the backpackers there in the "ok to smoke pot in the common room" hostel to be quiet and non-invasive. I am now in a hostel called Snuffers in Bruge Belgium which was full of university students drinking beer and smoking cigarettes and acting much more immature than the backpackers in Bob's. I don't like the smell of pot, but if I had to choose between the two places to write, I would choose Bobs, (though I would turn the music down a bit and put some different songs on the playlist!)

One that I heard which I have now added to my own list is "Friendly Pressure", by Jhelisa. This was one of Robert's. Robert is one of the managers and is originally from Toronto.

Core Components of EQI.org

Respect | Empathy
Caring | Listening
Understanding

Other EQI.org Topics:

Emotional Literacy
Invalidation | Hugs
Emotional Abuse |
Feeling Words
Depression | Education
Emotional Intelligence
Parenting | Personal Growth

Search EQI.org | Support EQI.org

EQI.org Library and Bookstore

Kim was apologetic when I came in and said the hostel was full. She gave me the code and let me use the WIFI till I found another hostel. This took at least an hour.

--

Ivers didn't say anything about me being in the hallway using my laptop.

He was very friendly and seems very genuine and caring. He is originally from Latvia I think. He was telling me about how the Soviets would say that in the USA they beat children. I told him this is actually true. I told him that I was hit with a board twice in schools there.

Robert, from Canada was also very nice. Robert uses his judgement. He said "Bob let's us make our own decisions."

The girl studying social psychology was also nice. She also used her judgement because when I came in and sat down on Saturday night and started using my laptop she didn't come over and ask me if I were staying at the hostel. Later I explained to her that there was a misunderstanding with Kim and the hostel was fully booked by the time I got there so I stayed at the Christian hostel but I planned to come back to Bob's in the morning. She said technically no one who is not a guest is supposed to use the common area, but the staff are allowed to use their judgment.

So when the night manager last night was acting so authoritarian, I felt confident this wasn't the way the owner actually wanted things to be run. I was surprised when the night manager told me he had worked there 20 years.

--

It is now 6:47 AM. I just checked the door at the bottom of the stairs. It is locked. So if there were a fire which started in the night managers room and he was killed first, who would unlock the door? How many people would die? This is a potential disaster.

--

I just talked to Ouchchaq. he was a good listener. He agreed with me that Samir was over-controlling.

Then Robert came in and I said "Good morning". He didn't say anything. He just walked right past me. I feel very uncomfortable now. I wonder if I did something or if he is just having a bad day.

I was telling someone how teens in the USA are killing themselves because they can't understand what is happening. They are told they live in a free country, yet they are also told all the things they have to, need to and "should" do. And they know they will be punished if they don't obey. And they know they cannot leave the country. So they don't feel free.

What happens when you are told you are free, but you don't feel free? Or you are told that you are being protected, but you don't feel protected? Or you are told that you are loved or cared about or understood, but you don't feel any of those?