Laura and Steve's Story - La historia de Laura y Steve
September 5, 2005
| I am going to try to write
in Spanish first and then translate to English. It is
very hard to translate from English to Spanish. Surely I
am going to write less! And that will be good for
everyone! Well, the day before yesterday Laura and I had another small crisis. I was in the Internet cafe and she was in our room. She had visited me and I told her that a teen had been talking about killing herself. Laura said that she was going to be with the Boy Scouts while I talked with the teen. About an hour or so later I saw that she had come online because the little window said Laura is online. I wrote “Hello my love” and she didn’t answer. I wrote “hola” a few more times but still nothing. I started to get worried. I sent her a mail in case she hadn’t seen my messages. Still nothing. I felt more and more worried. I said “bye” to all the teens I was talking to. (I was talking to Darren, Pink/LLoyd, and Stacie) y I went to look for Laura. I went to all the Internets in the town. There are three others. And I didn’t find her. Then I felt very afraid she had left again. About 10 days ago she packed her things, wrote me a note that said “I would have liked to stay, but I can’t. Laura.” and she left. That night I was about crazy with panic. I was running around all the streets in the city looking for her. That week we were living in a city called Chosica and it is too big to find someone. It is near Lima and there are a ton of busses that leave every ten minutes for Lima. It would be very easy for her to get on a bus and leave. From Lima you can take another bus to Cajamarca, where her family is. I really felt panic. That night I went back to the room for my cell phone. I thought I would send her a message to the cell phone that I bought her in Cajamarca. But when I entered the room I saw my cell phone next to hers. I didn�t see this the first time because I was only thinking about the note which she left me. I feel afraid and sad remembering this now. I am almost ready to cry. I love her so much and need he so much. I am so afraid of losing her. I felt so alone for so
many years before I met her. I almost killed myself from
feeling so alone. I needed so many hugs that I never got.
I am sure that my family damaged me a lot by not giving
me hugs when I was a child and teen. Now Laura and I hug
about 50 times everyday. I want to go and give her a hug
right now. And I am about ready to cry again. Now I am learning it is dangerous to leave her alone for long. She feels alone and misses her family and friends. Also her mind starts to think a ton of negative thoughts. And as she is very smart, her mind works very quickly. Anyhow to continue.. that night I went to write her an email since I couldn’t send a message to her cell phone. Thankfully, I found her on the street. We talked and cried a long time and finally we went back to our room together. Well, I am out of time to write more today, but maybe later I will write more about what happened the day before yesterday. |
Voy a intentar escribir en
espa�ol primero y luego traducir a ingl�s. Es muy
dif�cil traducir de ingl�s a espa�ol. Seguramente voy
a escribir menos! Y eso ser� bueno para todos! Bueno, anteayer Laura y yo tuvimos otra peque�a crisis. Yo estaba en el internet y ella estaba en nuestro cuarto. Ella me ha visitado y le dije que una adolescente estaba hablando de suicidarse. Laura dijo que iba a estar con los Boy Scouts mientras yo hablaba con la adolescente. Despu�s de otra hora m�s o menos vi que ella entro en l�nea porque vi la ventanita que dice “Laura esta conectada”. Escrib� “Hola mi amor” y ella no me contest�.” Escrib� “hola” dos o tres veces mas pero todav�a nada. Empec� a preocuparme. Envi� un correo por si acaso ella no ha visto mis mensajes. Todav�a nada. Me sent� m�s y m�s preocupado. Dije “chao” a todos los adolescentes (estaba conversando con Darren, Pink/Lloyd, y Stacie ese d�a) y fui ha buscar a Laura. Fui a todos los Internets en el pueblo. Hay 3 m�s. Y no la encontr�. Entonces sent� mucho miedode que ella hubiera salido otra vez. Hace 10 d�as o algo ella empac� sus cosas, me dej� una nota que dijo “Hubiera querido quedarme, pero no puedo. Laura.” y se fue. Esa noche yo estaba casi loco con p�nico. Estaba corriendo por todas las calles en la ciudad. Esa semana est�bamos en una ciudad que se llama Chosica y es demasiado grande para encontrar a alguien. Est� cerca a Lima y hay un mont�n de buses que van cada 10 minutos a Lima. Ser�a muy f�cil para ella subir en un bus e irse. De Lima se puede tomar otra bus para Cajamarca, donde est� su familia. De veras sent� p�nico. Esa noche regres� al cuarto por mi celular. Pens� que podr�a enviarle un mensaje al celular que compr� para ella en Cajamarca. Pero cuando entr� en el cuarto de nuevo vi mi celular a lado del suyo. No vi eso la primera vez que entr� porque solo estaba pensando en la nota que ella me dej�. Me da miedo y tristeza recordar esto ahora. Estoy casi por llorar. La amo tanto y la necesito tanto. Tengo tanto miedo de perderla. Yo estaba s�lo por
tantos a�os antes de conocerla. Casi me mat� por
sentirme tan s�lo. Yo necesitaba tantos abrazos que no
recib�. Estoy seguro que mi familia me da�o mucho en no
darme abrazos cuando era ni�o y adolescente. Ahora Laura
y yo nos abrazamos como 50 veces cada d�a. Quiero ir y
darle un abrazo ahora. Y otra vez estoy casi llorando. Ahora estoy aprendiendo que es peligroso dejarla sola mucho tiempo. Ella se siente sola y extra�a su familia y sus amigos. Tambi�n su mente empieza a pensar un mont�n de cosas negativas. Y como ella es una persona muy inteligente, su mente corre muy r�pido. Bueno para continuar... esa noche fui para escribirle un mensaje a su correo como no pod�a enviar uno a su celular. felizmente la encontr� en la calle. Conversamos y lloramos mucho tiempo y finalmente regresamos juntos al cuarto. Bueno, no tengo mas tiempo para escribir hoy, pero quiz� despu�s escribir� mas sobre lo que pas� anteayer. |