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Inteligencia Emocional - Espa�ol...Ingl�s

Laura and Steve's Story - La historia de Laura y Steve

 

Laura and I met in Cajamarca, Peru in June, 2005. We are now living together. We will be telling our story little by little in both Spanish and English. Here is what we have so far.

This letter gives you more of the background. It is a letter that Laura sent to her "father" about a week after we left.

Here is a little of our diary.

 Laura y yo nos conocimos en Cajamarca, Per� en junio, 2005. Ahora estamos viviendo juntos. Vamos a contar nuestra historia poco a poco en castellano e ingl�s. Esto es lo que tenemos hasta ahora.

Esta carta les da un poco m�s de los hechos. Es una carta que Laura envi� a su "pap�" una semana despu�s que salimos.

Aqu� est� un poco de nuestro diario.

 

Our Journal - Nuestro Diario

August 30, 2005

September 5, 2005

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Letter to Laura's "Father" - Carta al "Pap�" de Laura

 

August 4, 2005

Letter to Laura's "Father" - Carta al "Pap�" de Laura

 

I have thought more and I've talked to Nathalia and I feel very upset because you have written a complaint about my boyfriend and because you are all pressuring me so much.

I'd like to know what you have written in the complaint because I imagine that you lied so you can harass us just because you feel upset.

If you really wrote a complaint, I would like you to withdraw it because I left home voluntarily and no one forced me.

You have said that you did it to protect me, but I don't believe that. I don't feel protected. I feel threatened and I don't like that. Also you have threatened my boyfriend when I was in Cajamarca. And besides, you didn't protect me when my mother hit me.

Also, that Saturday when we talked and I asked you why you told, or gave the idea to my mother to hit me and all you did was avoid my question, talking about other things.


Maybe you are going to say that it was necessary for discipline, but I don't agree. I don't believe any young person or child deserves to be hit.

You are not going to earn my respect with threats. There is a big difference between fear and respect. Also there is a big difference between respect and obedience. In the past I obeyed because I was afraid. Now is the first time in my life that I dont have to obey someone in my own family because I am afraid and I don't have any desire to return to a place where I am going to feel threatened and where no one accepts my decisions.

Neither do I want to return to a place where who knows what to expect from one day to the next. Nathalia said that everyone is worried now, but who was worried when my mother hit me? I am much happier now than when I was in Cajamarca. Also I feel much more safe.

My boyfriend is a very good person. He understands me and he gives me the emotional support that I never received at home

Everyone wants to know why I left like I did. Well, I did it because you all were forbidding me to see him. He wanted to talk to you but you didn't want to. I know what you would have said if I had said that I was going to leave with him, everyone would have pressured me and hit me. I think it is obvious why I left without telling anyone.

I am starting a new life with my boyfriend. You all are worried because I left my studie and I understand that. I am also very worried. But please remember that I left Cajamarca because you didn't accept my decisions. My boyfriend also did not want to leave Cajamarca. He was happy there. We left because you cut off our friendship and happiness, and we were very afraid that you were going to find out that we were still together. You told me that you were going to "beat the shit out of him" or something like that. I didn't want anything to happen to him and we didn't want to hide any longer in Cajamarca. Also everynight I was crying in my room from sadness and fear. That's why we left.

Now we have plans to work together. My boyfriend is a very sincere and intelligent person. I am learning a lot from him. It is a shame that you didn't want to meet him. I hope that one day we can all talk, but a real talk and not just threats and advice that I didn't ask for.


I dont know if you really want to understand and learn something from all of this, but I am going to write my story with more details so others can learn and not have to feel as bad as I felt. Niether do I want other fathers and mothers to suffer the pain of seing their daughter leaving home. But without understanding young people will keep running away from home, and that is very sad for everyone. I think that a home should be a safe place and not a place of fear.

 He pensado mas y he conversado con Nathalia y me siento muy molesta porque has denunciado a mi enamorado y porque ustedes est�n presion�ndome tanto.

Quiero saber que has escrito en tu denuncia porque imagino que has mentido para molestarnos simplemente porque tu te has sentido molesto.

Si tu realmente has escrito una denuncia, quiero que la retires porque yo sal� de la casa por voluntad propia y nadie me oblig�.

Tu has dicho que lo hiciste por protegerme, pero eso no lo creo. No me siento protegida. Me siento amenazada y no me gusta eso. Tambi�n has amenazado a mi enamorado cuando estaba en Cajamarca. Y adem�s no me protegiste cuando mi mam� me peg�.

Adem�s ese s�bado que conversamos yo te pregunte porque le dijiste o le diste la idea a mi mam� para que me golpeara y lo �nico que tu hiciste fue evadir la pregunta dici�ndome otras cosas.

Quiz�s vas a decir que esto fue necesario para disciplinar, pero no estoy de acuerdo. No creo que ning�n joven o ni�o merece ser golpeado.

No vas a ganar mi respeto con amenazas. Hay una gran diferencia entre miedo y respeto. Tambi�n hay una gran diferencia entre respeto y obediencia. En el pasado yo obedec�a porque ten�a miedo. Ahora es la primera vez en mi vida que no tengo que obedecer a alguien en mi propia familia porque tengo miedo y no tengo deseo de regresar a un lugar donde me voy a sentir amenazada y donde no aceptan mis decisiones.

Tampoco quiero regresar a un lugar donde no se sabe que esperar al d�a siguiente. Nathalia dice que todos est�n preocupados ahora, pero quien estaba preocupado cuando mi mam� me peg�? Estoy mucho m�s contenta ahora que cuando estaba en Cajamarca. Tambi�n me siento mucho m�s segura.

Mi enamorado es una persona muy buena. �l me entiende y me da el apoyo emocional que nunca recib� en la casa.


Todos quieren saber porque sal� as�. Bueno, lo hice porque ustedes me prohibieron verle. �l quiso hablar con ustedes pero ustedes no quisieron. Yo s� que si hubiera dicho que voy a salir con �l, todos iban a presionarme y a pegarme. Pienso que es obvio porque sal� sin avisar a nadie.

Estoy empezando una nueva vida con mi enamorado. Ustedes est�n preocupados porque dej� mis estudios, y eso lo entiendo. Tambi�n yo estaba muy preocupada. Pero recuerden por favor que sal� de Cajamarca porque ustedes no aceptaron mis decisiones. Mi enamorado tampoco quer�a salir de Cajamarca. �l estaba contento ah�. Salimos porque ustedes cortaron nuestra amistad y felicidad, y ten�amos mucho miedo que iban a descubrir que todav�a est�bamos juntos. Tu me dijiste que ibas a “sacarle la mierda” a mi enamorado, o algo as�. Yo no quer�a que le pase nada a �l y no quer�amos escondernos m�s en Cajamarca. Tambi�n cada noche estaba llorando en mi cuarto de tristeza y miedo. Por eso salimos.

Ahora tenemos planes para trabajar juntos. Mi enamorado es una persona muy sincera e inteligente. Estoy aprendiendo mucho de �l. Es una lastima que no hayas querido conocerlo. Ojal� que un d�a podamos conversar, pero una conversaci�n real y no solo amenazas y consejos que no ped�.

No s� si tu realmente quieres entenderme y aprender algo de todo esto, pero voy a escribir la historia con m�s detalles para que otros puedan aprender y no tengan que sentirse tan mal como me sent� yo. Tampoco quiero que otros padres y madres sufran la pena de ver a su hija salir de la casa. Pero sin compresi�n los j�venes van a seguir escapando de sus casas, y esto es muy triste para todos. Yo pienso que una casa debe ser un lugar de seguridad y no de miedo.

 

 

Laura's "father" - "Pap� de Laura"

Laura grew up without a real father in the house. She lived with her mother, two aunts, and two older cousins. When Laura first told me about her "father" Calin she told me that he was not really her father, he was her uncle, but she called him father since he was older and was like a substitute father. Later I found out that he is not even a real uncle. He is only her cousin. But here in Peru it is common to call someone older an "uncle" or a "father" in situations like this.

Personally I feel a little offended that her cousin Calin thinks he can treat Laura like a child when she is not even his child in the first place. But even if he were her real father I would feel offended by the way he has treated her.

Well let's say I feel protective of her and I feel pain when I think of how he has treated her, and also when I think of how important her family is to her and how she had to leave as we did because they would not accept us. It is a very, very sad situation all the way around.

 Laura creci� sin un padre real en la casa. Ella viv�a con su mam�, dos t�as, y dos primos mayores. Cuando Laura me habl� de su “pap�” Cal�n, me dijo que �l no fue su pap� verdadero, fue su t�o pero le llamaba “Pap�” porque es mayor y es algo como padre substituto. Despu�s me di cuenta que el no es su t�o real. Es solo su primo. Pero aqu� en el P�ru es com�n llamar alguien mayor un “t�o” o “Pap�” en situaciones como esta.


Personalmente me siento un poco ofendido que su primo Cal�n piensa que puede tratar a Laura como si ella fuera una ni�a cuando ella ni es su propia hija. Pero a�n si �l fuera su padre real me sentir�a ofendido por la manera en que la ha tratado.

Bueno digamos que siento protectivo de ella y que me da pena cuando pienso en como �l la ha tratado. Tambi�n cuando pienso en lo importante que es su familia para ella y como tuvo que salir ella en la manera como lo hicimos porque ellos no nos aceptar�an. Es una situaci�n muy, muy triste para todos.

 

 

The cell phone in Cajamarca

I bought a cell phone for Laura in Cajamara when her parents forbid her from seeing me. Since I couldn�t call her in her house, we could talk to each other with the cell phones.
Compr� un celular para Laura en Cajamarca cuando sus padres nos prohibieron vernos. Como yo no pod�a llamar a Laura a su casa, pod�amos comunicarnos con los celulares.