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Convo with Amy

 

convos with amy

i sometimes refer to my amygdala as amy. she is like a sensitive, wounded little girl who lives inside me. i have to protect her from the people around us. here is one convo i am having with her right now.. at about 11 AM Uruguay time, Oct 15, 2013

jan 2015 note - i think it was about a post i made on free domain radio.

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S how did u feel about the post from ___ hun?

A- sad. hurt, discredited, judged, invalidated, disrespected, lied to, discouraged, a little suicidal.

S aw, hug. im sorry. want to tell me why you felt each of those?

A yes, but we already talked about it. ha ha

S true. ha ha

S would u rather I explain it to people, - those who want to understand us, and those who care about us...?

A hmm maybe.

A oh, yeah, let's not forget "not understood"

S oh ok right.

A can u send a copy of this to "Al" and "B" and sr?

S ok, if I remember.

A ok thanks.

A I'd feel better if some people learned something from this. If we could help "raise their awareness" like Alice Miller helped raise so many people's awareness.

S yeah. hug

A hug back

A I feel a little hopeless too. It seems no matter how hard we try, people just don't get it. They don't want to understand us. I don't think she really felt very curious. It sure didn't seem that way to me.

S True. I agree. hug

A hb

A maybe you could put a link in about judging and understanding.

S ok let me try to find it.

Here they are

Judging

Understanding


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Judged - seemed to be saying I wasn't qualified to help depressed teens. And possibily was even harming them. Also seemed to be saying I am too sensitive because she has to walk on eggshells when she replies to a post of mine.

I would say I am not too sensitive, but others are too insensitive, too damaged. Too desensitized. Too aggressive. Too lacking in understanding, awareness, compassion, skills. I hear these kinds of things a lot. The suicidal teens are also told they are too sensitive. And they think too much etc. And that they have no reason to feel the way they do.

Sort of like she started out by saying something like "I'm sure you won't be judged or attacked or disrespected in this forum. Then she judged, disrespected, attacked me, invalidated me. Kind of like pre-emptive invalidation when she said I have to walk on eggshells. IE I am not afraid to show how sensitive I am, how easily hurt I am. How suicidal I feel. I feel resentful about all of that. *sigh

Anyhow she is immediately off the list of who we would invite here. lol. I would not even read what she wrote about me - probably. I hate - wait scratch that...

it pains me to spend time on these little personal battles. the main battle we must unite in is to fight the government - those that control us, force us, use violence on us to get us to obey, to be afraid of them.

as scott said the government has a monopoly on the use of force.

 

 

 

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