1. Does your
mother tend to be unforgiving? Does she
say things like "I will never be
able to forgive you for that." or
"If you do so and so I would never
be able to forgive you." "What
he did was unforgivable."
tell you that it is a sign of weakness to
3. Is it
hard or impossible for your mother to
4. Does your
mother always have to have the last word?
5. Is it
important for her that she always appears
to be right and to win all the arguments?
6. Does your
mother make you feel responsible for her
feelings (for her happiness or
unhappiness or hurt or disappointments)?
7. Does your
mother tell you she is disappointed in
8. Does your
mother ever tell you that you don't
deserve things? For example, "You
don't deserve all the things your father
and I do for you."
9. Does she
try to get you to question your own
intelligence by saying things like
"You think you are so smart."
or "You are not smart as you like to
think you are." Or "If you are
so smart, how can you do something so
stupid.?" or "Why didn't you
think of that?"
your mother say things like "You
could do better" in a disapproving