Another Example of a Caring Person´s Priorities Changing

Written in 2005

-

Here is a chat with a guy around 17 years old. I have known him for about two years. When we first started chatting he was very interested in helping people and very emotionally supportive. We actually used to talk about feelings, something very few teenage males do. When I met him online he was living in the middle east, going to an international highschool. We could guess that it was a school for the children of wealthy international business men, diplomats etc.

We slowly dropped out of touch, but recently I found him on line and asked what he was doing. It turns out he is in a "pre-university" course, studying so he can get accepted into a university. Like so many intelligent, sensitive teenagers who once cared about other people and wanted to help them, he doesn't have time for such things anymore. He is too busy studying and too worried about his grades. And notice that it was originally his parents who thought it was important for him to get in to a university. Now he is accepting their values as his own, like the vast majority of teens do.

Here is our conversation:

This is just one more small example of what I have been seeing all around the world.

Steve Hein
May 3, 2005
Chiclayo, Peru

EQI.org Home Page

Core Components of EQI.org

Other EQI.org Topics:

Emotional Intelligence | Empathy
Emotional Abuse | Understanding
Emotional Literacy | Feeling Words
Respect | Parenting | Caring
Listening | Invalidation | Hugs
Depression |Education
Personal Growth

Search EQI.org | Support EQI.org

EQI.org Library and Bookstore

Online Consulting, Counseling Coaching from EQI.org

steve dice:
hey muneer!
Muneer: Blowing up petty issues dice:
hey Steve
steve dice:
where are u these days?
Muneer: Blowing up petty issues dice:
i'm in Canada, studying
steve dice:
ok
steve dice:
what r u studying
Muneer: Blowing up petty issues dice:
i'm doing a pre-university course right now. I'll be going university in september, hopefully
steve dice:
ah
steve dice:
is it lot of work?
Muneer: Blowing up petty issues dice:
yeah, it's giving me some trouble right now. I gotta work hard to get through this
steve dice:
what kind of trouble
Muneer: Blowing up petty issues dice:
subject wise. Mostly in geometry...just finding it real difficult. If i don't get good marks in it, i might not get accepted in to a university
steve dice:
ah
steve dice:
that sucks
steve dice:
is getting into a uni really important to u, or to ur parents more?
Muneer: Blowing up petty issues dice:
at first I thought it was my parents. Then i was confused between the two....now i'm pretty sure it's important to me
steve dice:
ok
steve dice:
why was it important to ur parents and why is it important now for u

Then he disconnected. I guess my questions were too hard for him. Or maybe it was just a power failure, who knows. But I do know that he hasn't show any interest in helping me or teens in over a year now. And he probably never will again.

--

2011 Note - I never heard from Muneer again after that chat.