Emotional Intelligence Home Page


How to Bring Up Your Parents, by Stanley Gold and Peter Eisen

I found this to be a good book because it takes more of a view from the child or teenager's side. Here are just a couple quotes from it for now. S.Hein

On Lying

p 134

"If we learn that to tell the truth is likely to bring us some sort of unhappiness, then we try to find some other way to deal with the situation. When we know we are going to be punished for doing something, parents should not really blame us for trying to get away with it. Usually when our parents are very strict, and we know they won't listen to any explanations, then we are more likely to lie to them."

p. 136

"None of us really want to lie, if we think that telling the truth is a safe thing to do. So when your parents ask "Why do you tell lies all the time?", the only way you can really answer them is to say, "Because its easier." (Note) They might be prepared to go along with that, but what they never seem able to accept is that they are the ones that made it easier for you. Parents try not to believe it, but really there is no such thing as 'born liars.' They are made."


* (I would say "Because I am afraid of you.")