Emotionally Needy Mothers

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Emotionally Needy Mothers

I am just starting this page as of Feb 26, 2008. I'm starting it because I realize there is a difference between emotionally abusive mothers and emotionally needy mothers. While all emotionally abusive mothers are also emotionally needy, not all emotionally needy mothers will damage their children and teens as much as what I would call an emotionally abusive mother. Also, most people would rather think of themselves or their mothers as "emotionally needy" rather than emotionally abusive, so probably the term emotionally needy is more helpful in the long run.

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Here are some of the differences in this comparison table.

Emotionally Needy Mothers and Google

Role reversal

? Characteristics of Emotionally Needy Mothers

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Comparison Table

Emotionally Needy Mothers	Emotionally Abusive Mothers
More likely to feel bad when they do something which hurts their child or teen.	Less likely to really care how their child or teen feels
More likely to apologize.	Less likely to apologize.
Less likely to get defensive.	More likely to get defensive.
More likely to try not to do the same thing again.	More likely to keep repeating the same abusive things.
More likely to be able to express their feelings with feeling words and "I messages"	More likely to attack and label the child or teen with names and "you" messages. (Example: You are spoiled, lazy, selfish)
More likely to be aware of their own specific feelings and unmet emotional needs.	Less likely to be aware of their own specific feelings and their unmet emotional needs.
More likely to take responsibility for their own feelings and emotional needs. See "It's not about me."	More likely to blame their feelings on the child or teen (You disappointed me.)
Less likely to continue invalidating the child or teen once the child/teen says they feel invalidated.	More likely to continue invalidating the child or teen once the child/teen says they feel invalidated. More likely to say "I am not invalidating you." or "Stop psychoanalyzing me and feeling sorry for yourself." or any number of other invalidating things.
More likely to hug their son or daughter when they are crying or in emotional pain (especially if the mother does not feel in any way responsible)	Less likely to hug their son or daughter no matter what the circumstance.
Less likely to say something like "stop crying"	More likely to say something like "stop crying."

Emotionally Needy Mothers and Google

As of Feb 26, 2008 there were only 6 results when I searched on this term.

Feb 2012 update - 40 results found.

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