| EQI.org Home | Other Authors Barbara Rogers -- under construction Introduction Barbara was Alice Miller's assistant for several years. Then they had a big conflict. You can read about that below from the letter Barbara sent to Alice. I felt empathy and compassion for Barbara when I read her pain-filled letter. So I wrote to her and asked her if I could put a copy of it on my site, and asked how she would feel about entering a dialogue about Alice and some other topics. Her responses to me have been heart-warming, affirming, validating, encouraging, supportive, surprising, caring, understanding, open, trusting - to name a few descriptors. Some of our emails are copied here, with her permission. Steve and Priscilla - Oct 24, 2013 Emails Between S. Hein and Barbara Letter To and Criticism of Alice Miller |
Core Components of EQI.org Respect | Empathy
Emotional Literacy |
| Barbara Rogers'
“spirituality” cements childhood blindness Selected Qutes from “spirituality” cements childhood blindness, by Barbara Rogers From http://screamsfromchildhood.com/spirituality_cements_childhood_blindness.html Part 1 How we learn to judge human feelings – the most vital messengers of our souls with a protective purpose Human feelings are vital messengers that are meant to have a protective function. They convey important information as our bodies and souls respond to the world around us, to the actions and attitudes of others and to the experiences that we make, most powerfully to traumatic experiences. But many people do not try to contact and understand all their feelings – instead they judge some of them as “negative” or “bad.” This manipulative distortion of unwelcome feelings begins in childhood. Parents, teachers and religious authorities, among others, want “good” – uncomplicated, obedient and pleasing children that display “good feelings” – but no criticism and protest stemming from feelings of pain, discontent, doubt and anger. Children who speak up and express their feelings are often ignored, condemned and punished, even physically, and the child that suffers and rebels does not encounter respect and compassion. - Why do we have feelings? Are we authentic, truthful and real if we judge and suppress our feelings? Are we honest with ourselves if we separate our feelings into “good” and “bad” and silence the “bad” ones? Do we live true to ourselves and honor our conscience if we follow the beliefs of others – often formed many years, even centuries ago – that claim to be valid because they stem from “a higher source?” In this way, many of us had to live as children when we had no choice but to believe, obey and follow our parents and other adults. But following others and their beliefs in adulthood keeps us from knowing who we really are. It makes us mere tools in the hands of often dangerous people who do not know themselves but act out destructive inner agendas that they don’t account for and which their followers don’t dare to see through and question. oes not any belief, which we adhere to, take us away from the truth and power that come alive when we get in touch with our true selves, formed by our own, authentic feelings and thoughts that lead us to our own needs, values and goals? Belief-systems claim to have – the same – answers for everything and everyone; they usually take those from ancient books, traditions and admired authorities, especially religious or spiritual leaders, gurus and lamas. These systems impose specific rules that the believer must follow, but they do not ask their followers: “Know thyself. Trust thyself.” Part 2 The dubious roots of meditation and the negation of human emotional needs in Tibetan Buddhism When Tibetan Buddhism is celebrated today as the peaceful and calming practice of meditation, people overlook the reality of a brutal religion with bizarre traditions that has used meditation as a tyrannizing tool to quash the power of feelings and free, critical thinking. Not only one hell as in Christianity, but sixteen hells doom the believer in Tibetan Buddhism with terrifying horror scenarios. It is a tradition of this controlling religion to force children into becoming monks, remove them from their families, cut them off from contact with women and brainwash them with religious studies that must be learned and recited by heart. In the context of this inhuman religion, the word “compassion,” no matter how often it is conjured, has no real meaning because compassion is not extended to these abused and neglected children. In order to become “spiritually enlightened,” they are betrayed of their human right to a healthy, dignified development, their freedom and their lives. -- Why are fear and control of our feelings so popular and widely spread? Why are we not encouraged to welcome all our feelings, to communicate with them with an open mind in order to find out why we feel what we feel? Is the old childhood fear of threatening parental rebukes, retributions and attacks so strong and prevalent? When we look at why we feel angry, our anger might be justified in the presence and lead us to empowering and important actions that protect our lives, health and interests and our loved ones too. Maybe our anger leads us to actions where we become activists engaged to work for social changes, for the benefit of other people, for the environment. Why should we want to meditate this strengthening anger away, turn it into fussy confusion, thus deny it and take away its power? -- The practice of meditation, which e.g. the Tibetan Buddhist monks propagate, starts early in their lives. It consists mainly of reciting mantras, religious demands and dogmas, over and over again, 100 000 times on certain steps of ritualistic scales, which are part of their meditation practice. Above all, they are meant to lead to complete submission and guru-devotion. Even if people in the west meditate in less brainwashing ways, the origins of this practice show that the purpose of meditation in the Tibetan context was and is not to get in touch with oneself but to suppress one’s self-awareness, feelings, critical thinking, justified needs and human rights in order to become a loyal subject of the elite monks. |