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I have been wanting to start a page on Kel for a long time. He has been following my site pretty faithfully since early in 2005 I'd say. I have to go back and see when he first emailed me. Anyhow, he does a lot of surfing and sends me a lot of interesting links. I plan to put some of them on this page later, but I wanted to at least get something started cuz recently Kel made a very generous donation to help out Jerren. When he first read about Jerren he wrote me and said that he and Jerren had a lot of things in common, so I am sure that is one of the motivations for wanting to help.

Kel is 19 right now. He works with computer programs and likes to play online games. I think we have only chatted once. I really don't know that much about him yet. But I really appreciate his help.

Later I'll write more!

Dec 7, 2005

The first email from Kel

More emails

note to self - find link about driving

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The first email from Kel

Hello, my name is Kel and I am a 19 year old male who lives in xx, xxx, USA.

I have been reading your site eqi.org for the last couple of days while at work and it has really touched me.  I have wanted to contact you, but I feel afraid that I may hurt you since you seem very emotionally sensitive.  I am also emotionally sensitive and my social skills are rather poor so I easily hurt others.  I am quite tactless.  One time when a teacher in high school gave me the wrong grade on a paper due to a simple mistake I called her stupid and said something along the lines of, "For a math teacher, you certainly can't add well."  I apoligized after class because I felt as horrible as she did about it.

Anyways, the thing that finally got me past the point of fear of emailing you was what I read on your site about people and their cars.  My dad does about 85% of what is on that list.  That hit me good enough to email you.  Earlier many of the other stories I have read so far have gotten me close, but that finally did it.  Another thing that was strong was rating feelings of respect and fear of 0-10 and I would say my dad is 2 respect, 8 fear.  My mom though, probably 9 respect, 1 fear because she is very loving.  I have known my dad to be emotionally abusive since I was very young.  He has never treated me with any respect and has used fear way too much.  I know where he gets it from though, his parents.  They treat me in a similar way.  My mom had parents who were also emotionally abusive, but it was nowhere near as bad.  She has become very passive because of it and my dad also emotionally abuses her.  It am very sad when I see my dad abuse my mom emotionally.  My dad is also in physical pain most of time because of chemical damage done by repairing vehicals used in the gulf war.  He probably does not know a healthy way to release his pain so he seems angry most of the time.  Most of the time he just ignores me and my mother to avoid hurting us.  When he is feeling good however, he does show respect for me and my mother and it is truly some of the greatest times I have when he is happy.

I would like to get to know you better because from what I have seen you are very thoughtful, insighful, and authentic.

Do you use MSN messenger?  The CC(xxxx@yahoo.com) on the email is to my home email and also the email I have signed up for MSN messenger.  I would have wrote to you sooner, but as I began to think about what I would write, I would start to feel better and just decide not to email you.  I really don't want to hit send, but I guess I will.  By the way, I don't know why, but I was thinking about which senses I would sacrifice if I was given a choice which ones to lose and in what order.  I think I would sacrifice hearing, then smell, then taste, then touch, then sight.  Most people would say that isn't normal, but I don't want to hear what they say anyways.  I just can't hit send.  Ok, ok, I will.  Maybe.  Hmm, looks like the S in send is underlined so maybe alt-s will throw this thing out with no trouble.

(later that day he sent this...)

Also, today I found this article on MSNBC: msnbc.msn.com/id/8376044/

I feel scared after reading this article because this new technology could easily lead to emotion suppression devices, thought suppression devices, mind control, etc.

The article was called "Brain implants could ease depression " - it has been taken down now.- Mar 2012