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Emotional Intelligence and Obedience

"Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord." (Colossians 3:20)

Emotional Intelligence, Obedience and Education

Conscience or Obedience to Authority? 2003 Editorial

Listening vs. Obeying

Obedience vs. Cooperation

Ladder of Respect Vs Obedience

Education, Motivation, Punishment, Rebelliousness, Defiance

Lawrence Kohlberg's Model of Moral Development applied in Schools

The Case Against Disciplining Children at Home or in School - Thomas Gordon

How Children Really React to Control - Thomas Gordon

Education, Obedience, Death

Obey Authority or Follow Your Heart?

Forced Education and Dictatorships

"Chemical Imbalance" and Disobedience

Erich Fromm on Disobedience

John Gottman - See section on the "Disapproving Parent" for example

Quotes about Obedience

Related Pages

Respect - Includes respect vs. fear and obedience

External Links

The Milgram Experiments (Wikipedia)

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Emotional Intelligence | Empathy
Emotional Abuse | Understanding
Emotional Literacy | Feeling Words
Respect | Parenting | Caring
Listening | Invalidation | Hugs
Depression |Education
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Quotes about Obedience

Wayne Dyer

Maria Montessori

Alice Miller

Wayne Dyer

"The overwhelming emphasis in schools seems to be on teaching obedience rather than responsible thinking; on fitting in and conforming rather than being independent and creative. This makes being an independent thinker extremely difficult, particularly for young people."

"The rewards for conformity are omnipresent... People are told how to think in the name of obedience. It doesn't matter if it's obedience to the state, your teachers or even your parents, the end results are the same. Those with little or no confidence in themselves, and no innovative ideas, become servants to those who give the orders."

Wayne Dyer

Alice Miller

"In the short term, corporal punishment may produce obedience. But it is a fact documented by research that in the long term the results are inability to learn, violence and rage, bullying, cruelty, inability to feel another's pain, especially that of one's own children, even drug addiction and suicide, unless there are enlightened or at least helping witnesses on hand to prevent that development."

See "Every Smack is a Humiliation" on the Alice Miller page

Maria Montessori

"'Go and play' was the most frequent expression of those who did not want to be bothered by the children. Fairy tales were used not only to enchant and amuse them, but to reduce the children to immobility, to obtain obedience with threats that otherwise the ogre might come and eat them or that the good fairy would be disgusted and would not bring them the presents they expected from her.

Maria Montessori

Critique of a Quote about Obedience

Here is a quote from a medical doctor in the USA

How to Create an Emotional Bond with Your Child

One of the most powerful tools that parents have for raising their children is the natural emotional bond that exists between them and their child.

Children who feel close to their parents will have a strong desire to obey them.  No child with this type of connection to his parents will want to risk hurting that connection by disobeying them.  When such a relationship exists, the mere look of dissatisfaction on the face of a parent will usually be enough to curb inappropriate behavior. 

By Anthony Kane, MD



This quote bothers me. It might sound good at first glance but it seems what he suggests is a child who is overly dependent on the parent's approval. This is a bond, but it is not a healthy one. I would call this an insecure attachment bond rather than a secure attachment bond. In a healthy relationship "obedience" is not really even a matter of importance. The relationship is built more on cooperation and mutual respect.

Notice also his use of the subjective word "inappropriate" - S. Hein