Emotional Intelligence | Stevehein.com

Beliefs

Towards a new world belief system

A few more of my beliefs

More of my beliefs about emotional intelligence

My beliefs about education

Towards a New World Belief System

To reduce emotional and physical pain, a new belief system is needed. The world's dominant belief systems and religions were all founded by people without knowledge of the laws of evolution as first proposed by Charles Darwin.* Nor did they have the benefit of modern psychology or brain research.

Each system attempted to explain what was at that time unexplainable. With the progress of science, however, we now are in the position to formulate a much more intelligent and accurate system of beliefs. While we do not yet have answers to all of our questions, it seems clear we have enough scientific evidence, as well as historical data, to move to a higher level of social and universal enlightenment.

With regard to the intersection of emotions and beliefs, here are some general problems I see:

1. We don't give ourselves or our children the chance to feel, identify and be guided by our inate, uncorrupted feelings
2. As adults, we often don't know how we feel.
3. Throughout life, most people get most of their beliefs and thoughts from others.
4. Our thoughts and beliefs influence our feelings
5. Many of our beliefs are false and unhealthy¹

Therefore, if these are all true, our feelings often misguide us. In other words we are led away from what is natural and healthy for ourselves and the species.

What is needed then is a new belief system. Here are a few components which might be in this new belief system:

• Harmony with nature and evolutionary trends
• Recognition of the importance of survival instinct and of the primacy of the survival of the species over the survival of the individual.
• Distinction between "rights" and natural needs (physical, emotional and psychological)
• A system of conflict resolution based not on power, but on mutual respect for feelings and needs
• A higher respect for instinct, intuition, emotions and inner intelligence
• A reduced reliance on the supernatural and on drugs and distractions
• Increased unity
• Increased respect for individual differences and less attempts at forced equality and conformity
• Elimination of national borders, or a new system of allowing movement between them
• A more effective system of leadership selection
• A decrease in centralized control and an increase in personal responsibility
• Increased moral autonomy
• A distribution of power based on intellectual and emotional intelligence
• A healthier prioritization of values
• An intelligent method of distinguishing functional vs. dysfunctional beliefs
• Parental training, competency standards and accountability

Harmony with nature and evolutionary trends

The more we discover about nature and evolution, the better we can align ourselves in harmony with fundamental natural laws and trends. Once we correctly identify these fundamental truths, we can immediately use them in personal and social decision making and policy setting.

Here are some of these laws and trends, as I see them:

• Intelligence is favored over physical strength
• Non-violence is favored over violence
• Reason is favored over myth, religion, tradition
• Cooperation is favored over competition
• Moral autonomy, individual conscience and judgment are favored over obedience
• Internal control and motivation is favored over external control (ie punishment and rewards)
• Education is favored over punishment
• Prevention is favored over "cures"
• Reality is favored over appearances
• Self-esteem is favored over "other" esteem

Along with the above, it seems that as we evolve our needs change. It might be fair to say that we evolve both as a species and individually we have more need for intellectual and emotional fulfilment and less need for physical fulfillment and sexual fulfillment.

In particular, it seems that highly evolved people have more need for

• Self-expression
• Understanding
• Freedom
• Intrinsic satisfaction
• Self-actualization
• Emotional support and connection
• Independence, Self-reliance
• Identification with self
• Variety
• Intellectual Fulfillment
• Emotional Fulfillment
• Creativity

Lesser need for

• Power
• Control
• Security
• Conformity
• Physical connection
• Support from clubs, groups, memberships
• Identification with groups

A Few More of My Beliefs

Here are a few more of my beliefs:

• Emotional intelligence: (1) Is an inate potential which awaits development, (2) Varies significantly from individual to individual

• Our emotional needs are vitally important to our mental health, physical health, academic and career success, individual happiness, personal relationships and social harmony.

• Each individual is primarily responsible for his or her own emotions.

• The human species is by nature primarily cooperative and empathetic. When we are not, it is only because we have been hurt, damaged or are in need.

• The long term survival of the human species depends upon mutual respect for feelings.

• Parents and teachers are critically important to children's emotional development.

• Our emotions provide us with essential survival information; therefore, ignoring or invalidating them is detrimental to our physical and mental health.

• American society is out of balance many fundamental ways. For example,

		Too much 				Too Little

		Competition           			Cooperation
     		Judgment            			Understanding and compassion
     		Divisive Labeling   			Unity
             


		Over-valued                 	   Under-valued 

		Intellect                     		Emotion
		Entertainment                 		Education
		Appearances                   		Reality
     		Image                         		Sincerity
		Success                       		Happiness
     		Religion                      		Reason
     		Force, Violence, Fear         	Non-violence
     		Development                            Nature

More of my beliefs about emotional intelligence

Here is something from an editorial I wrote:

Personally I believe emotional intelligence does "exist." And I believe it is important. Very important. For one thing, I believe it offers us hope to stop killing each other. I believe it offers hope for us to stop focusing on the accumulation of wealth and material things. I believe it offers hope for us to treat children and teenagers in more emotionally supportive and understanding ways.

Source

Some of my beliefs about education

• Children have a natural need and desire to learn, to explore, to experiment, to ask questions and to discover
• The teacher is there to meet the child's needs, not the other way around.
• The child's needs, therefore, are more important than the teacher's.
• The teacher's emotions affect the student's emotions.
• The student's emotions affect his ability and desire to learn.
• Many teachers, perhaps the majority, in traditional schools have significant unmet needs to feel powerful, important, respected, appreciated, valued, and in control.
• These unmet needs hinder their ability to help their students develop personally, emotionally and intellectually
• The best teachers have the fewest unmet emotional needs (UEN's). The worst teachers have the most UEN's.
• Teachers must earn the respect of their students. They can not demand it.
• Respect, fear and obedience are often confused. Respect is earned, then given voluntarily. Fear and obedience are forced.
• Each child is unique emotionally; all children are not created equal when it comes to the emotional brain, therefore....
• Each child must be treated individually, especially with regard to his or her feelings.
• Individuality should be a higher goal of education than conformity.
• Emotional invalidation is one of the worst assaults against individuality.
• Repeated invalidation is emotional abuse, and it is common in traditional schools.
• Education is ideally more about learning than teaching. It should not be about obedience or about creating "good citizens" of the state.
• The highest goal of education is facilitating happiness, which comes from self-motivation, self-direction, self-discipline, self-confidence, and self-esteem.
• Many schools are out of balance towards grades, test scores, conformity, control, obedience, rules, threats and punishments.
• One way to reverse this trend is for parents to support alternative schools, and to encourage their children to question authority while focusing on learning.

Also - I believe travel is one of the best types of education. I encourage all young people to travel as early in their lives as possible, and as often as possible.

Footnotes

¹ For example, the belief in scarcity, in material success, in supernatural punishment, original sin, "evil", in equality, in democracy, in nationism, etc.

² With the exception of the "Scientologists" which is a rapidly growing group, but which I consider a dangerous cult that has gone far beyond the more traditional religions in their use of mind control.